My marathon...not the race I wanted to run but the race I finished.

It has been 5 days since I crossed the finished line. I am still walking with a slight limp, the stairs are my enemy, I am so tired it hurts and I think about Saturday constantly.

Ok I will say it "I AM A MARATHONER". Okay I got that out.

I did not run the race I wanted to run, but I finished and persevered and that counts!

Up until a 12 days before the race I had been having a lot of trouble with my left leg, IT Band issues that plagued my knee possibly combining with a bulging disc in my L5. I was stretching doing some PT and working hard to recover my leg and not have another run like the 20 miler - that was brutal. Until a short little 6 mile run with my husband changed everything. My left leg felt great, no pain, no fatigue - YEAH!!! And then around mile 3-4 my right leg started hurting right in my knee just like the pain I was having in my left legs for the last 6 weeks. Are you kidding me is what I was thinking. I could not finish the run which was mentally challenging, I was so worried about not being able to run the marathon.

For the next 12 days I stretched, iced, stretched and looked for any miracle cure I could find - there is not one...or at least not a guarantee. I got lots of advice and finally decided after many tears and frustration that I was going to continue my stretching, icing and see a new PT guy but not do anything drastically different so close to the race.

So now on to race day. Man was I nervous. I thought I was going to have a panic attack in the corral. My stomach didn't feel right, my shoes didn't feel right. I was worried, worried about pain, worried about finishing, worried about Tom's race suffering from my injury.

(Just a little backstory. I had only to goals relating to the marathon. One was to finish, I did not care about time, I don't even wear a watch. And the other more humorous was to not get a divorce during the race - figuring that Tom and I would fight about something as the mental game of the marathon entered the race)

A kiss before the we crossed the timing pad and we were off. Crowds of people and the anticipation of seeing my family somewhere along mile 9 was on my mind. And then we hit mile 1 - yes folks, I said mile 1. And my knee started to hurt, my lovely right knee who had been so kind to me for 5 months of training, never giving me any trouble until 12 days before the race. I didn't say anything to Tom and tried to push it out of my mind. Man was I hurting, mile 2, 3, 4, 5 went by. We ran past friends at miles 6 and 7, which really helped with the pain. I knew I just had to make it to mile 9 and see my family. My parents, both my sisters, my nephews and my 3 kids were here to cheer us on. They had even printed up t-shirts that said Go Team Voekler. I was going to keep going with a smile on my face until I saw them. I got very emotional as we saw them ahead, they had signs and noise makers and were so excited to see us running towards them. It was just the pick me up I needed or so I thought. The pain was getting so intense now. I had to start taking walk breaks. I really tried to only walk for a minute or two but it was hard cause running was so painful and walking was so well NOT. And this is when Tom and I started fighting (ok fighting is not correct, disagreeing about how to run the race) I wanted Tom to go on without me and just let me finish how I was going to finish. I wanted Tom to run HIS race at his speed and get a decent time. He did not agree. He said we trained together, we run together, we will finish together. I told him I was going to quit so he would run HIS race. And then we didn't talk for about 2 miles - those of you who know me know this is not NORMAL. The pain was excruciating. I was crying at this point, I really wanted to quit but just would not, I did not want to quit, I was going to finish. We ran into Lynn one of Tom's coaches who saw me crying and us disagreeing. She told Tom to go ahead and that she would stay with me...good idea right? Tom said no he is going to stay with me no matter what. I told Lynn to go on and help someone else since Tom is too stubborn to listen to me. We ran mile 12, 13, 14 adding more walk breaks and more tears to the race. At mile 14 I told Tom to please, PLEASE go on without me. I told him to tell Barrie - my wonderful friend and running buddy - who was meeting us at mile 18 to run with us a while to tell her that she was going to have to run me in. He said he would go on without me if Barrie promised to finish the race with me...don't you love how we are making plans for Barrie without asking her .

So we did not get a divorce and Tom started his race at the Lee Bridge, I watched him get smaller and smaller and he ran across the long windy bridge as I walked across happy he was going to get to run his race. And he is amazing, having a negative split on the marathon. He did so good and I am so proud. While I would love to have run across the finish line holding his hand and doing it together I know there is time for that and he deserved to run it his way.

So now I am alone...well really can I ever be alone, I will talk to a brick wall. And that is what I did, I started making friends along the way. If someone was walking I would walk with them for a while and then run for a little bit. At this point the problem was that walking was not making the pain subside. Of course running was more painful but I still tried to run as much as I could.

Mile, 15, 16, 17 and 18 were boring but my family was there to cheer me on at mile 16 and some friends along the way. I could see how proud they were of me since at this point my limping style of running was pretty apparent. I kept going, finally losing it right before I saw Barrie...so when she found me I was crying and not just crying but bordering on hysterical. She hugged me and said come on let's do this. She talked to me for the next few miles and we walked/ran as much as I could. I fell in love with a nice gentleman handing out chocolate covered shredded wheat at mile 19, I was so freaking hungry - man were they tasty - so thank you to whomever you are!

Finally we hit Mile 20, I made it past Sports Backers and we were on the final stretch. Running was becoming very difficult now but having someone to talk to helped. Around this point we started talking to Erica, she too was a fellow Marathon Team in Training participant. I had noticed her for the last 5 miles or so. She is just about the tiniest, cutest little thing you would ever see. She seemed to be enjoying herself and not having a hard time. Little did I know she was suffering from IT Band issues as well. I said to her but you don't look like you are in any pain, you look so happy. She then admitted that she had been crying cause she heard me cry...how sweet. We ran with her for few minutes until she caught up to some friends that she was meeting to run her in.

Mile 20, 21 and 22 were just a blur. I don't know how much we ran but we were trying to enjoy ourselves. The last time I tried to run again around mile 22.5 I almost collapsed, the pain was so intense I could not run ONE step. I grabbed onto Barrie. She said do not do that again, we are walking the rest of the way. And that is what we did, we walked the last 4 miles.

The last mile was so tough, the hills were killing me, I really wanted to run across the finish line but I could barely walk. The looks on people's faces as I limped by was priceless. One big downhill before it is all over. My eyes swelled up with tears and then I saw Tom and he jumped the barricade, this coming from a man who had already run 26.2 miles, he is amazing. I saw my family and my youngest Brooke (who was missing her nap) was crying in my sister's arms so I grabbed her and then my other two kids came over and held my hands as I crossed! They were so proud of me.

It might have taken me 6+ hours but I finished. I didn't quit, I didn't give up, I didn't just sit down. Like I said before it was not the race I wanted to run but I finished it! At the half point, despite already walking some I was faster than my first half marathon. The last 13.1 miles took 3 and a half hours...it was a difficult 3.5 hours but I stuck with it.

And that is my marathon story!